It was a rainy day and started off horribly. We had to get the job site cleared of all debris just so the ambulance could get in. Jack, the other guy I worked with was working on roof of the house putting down the sheeting and was not tied off with his safety harness. He lost his footing on a piece of plywood that was not fastened and fell 20 feet. He hit the ground pretty hard, and wasn’t moving, jack looked like he was dead. The ambulance got to him and the paramedic started working on him. They got him stabilized and on to the stretcher, and into the ambulance. One of the paramedics called over the site supervisor, I did not overhear too much of the conversation; yet, I faintly heard the word drugs. At that point, even though I did not show it, I started to panic inside. I did not want work, or my parents finding out about my drug use. I had everything under control, and if this got out, I would lose that control. I knew I had to play this smart, I would wait things out and see what happens over the next few days.

The next day I showed up to work, the site supervisor was telling everybody as they were coming in, there will be a safety meeting at lunch time. I started to get very paranoid and felt anxious about what was going to be talked about. I did not use the night before, but that day I had these intense cravings and wanted to use so badly. Its almost if another person is screaming at you to give it what it wants; meanwhile, your mind and body are telling you, people are talking about you and you feel very scared and anxious. I never had intense feeling like this before; feeling like this was something I did not want to deal with everyday. I decided at that point to get back to my car, I had some drugs stashed in my car. I sat there and did a couple lines, and waited. Eventually I started to calm down and started to feel less anxious and scared. I got back out of my car and started back at work, eventually lunchtime came around and all the workers gathered around at the back of the job site for the safety meeting. The Safety Manager of the company was there, and the site supervisor. The Safety Manager started talking about the accident, and also went over safety demonstrations with the equipment used, pretty basic stuff. I was feeling less pressure at this point, and the worry was slowly going away. All of that changed when I noticed the human resource manager stepped out of the truck. At that moment I knew exactly what was going to be said. The Human Resource Manager told all the workers standing there, random drug testing was going to be implemented, and this will apply for all the employees of the company. I could feel shivers run up the back of my neck and a sense of panic overtake me. This was going to be the point where my drug abuse could become public.

I had a choice to make, I could come clean and tell the company about my drug use, or I could find a way to cheat the test. I looked around, and found a couple ways to cheat urine tests. Fortunately, they were random drug testing with large groups of people and it made it easy for me to cheat the tests. This all came to end when I was asked to go to the human resource office one day before work, and it was there I was confronted about my drug use. Apparently, my random activity and association with other users got back to the management. All I could think at that point was to lie, I did not want them to find out I was using. I did my best to avoid their questions and comments, it seemed they believed me. The site supervisor at that point asked for a onsite pee test. I immediately got offended and starting getting angry, saying I have been pee tested at every corner and no one here trusts me. I said everything I could to get out of the situation; however, I now realized all the people in that room have heard what I was saying before. By the end of it, I got two options, either I do a pee test right now, or I lose my job. I decided to walk out of the room and lose my job. In my mind there was no way I would let anybody find out about my drug use. When I got home that night, my parents were already waiting for me, and they knew what had happened. Apparently, the Human Resource Manager was a friend of my fathers. The reason I got the job was because my father had called in to see if there was any openings. My parents did not hesitate in confronting me about my drug use, I tried to talk around it, but they were putting everything together as the years went on. I was almost 20 years old and found myself for the first time backed up into a corner. I argued with my parents, and blamed everything on them, and eventually I left their house and went to stay with a friend. I had the construction job for about a year, and had a little money saved up. This was the first time I was truly on my own. When I left the house my parents gave me a phone number for an addiction help line to call. It was no use, because at that point I had already convinced myself I did not have a problem, and the problem was everybody else’s.

Many parents are caught in the middle of a situation like this, and maybe do not know what steps to take. When a person is in denial and not admitting they have a problem, it does not mean there aren’t any solutions. The best and most successful solution to handle this type of situation is a family intervention. Many people have misconceptions about intervention, but this process can prove to be very successful for the drug addict and very beneficial for the family. When this action is taken, it truly can give the family a good piece of mind knowing they have done everything possible. An intervention will clearly state where the family stands with their loved ones addiction, and what they are willing to do for the addict. This means the addict can no longer manipulate, lie, or avoid the problem of his or her addiction. The addict is truly put in a position where it is either go for treatment or take full responsibility for the consequences. There are professional interventionists, who can assist with conducting an intervention, and help escort your loved one to treatment.

Darkness; reflecting through my glossy eyes.
My heart is limp and broken,
My body covered with
bruises of black and blue.
An empty hand now lies on the wet bed of flowers.
Mascara tears streak my once beautiful face
and for the last time you hold my broken body,
kiss my ice old lips, and whisper ''I'm sorry''.
Then like the wind you were gone
leaving me lying in a field of black withered roses

by Amberinaa

update

i found a job but it sucks. i went to get my hair cut today and she just cut it all off i have been crying all day. ): i hate it. going on a trip with my mom this weekend should be great fun but i dont want to go outside with no hair. my husband is in jail but should be out in  a couple of weeks. blessed be hope everyone has a wonderfull weekend

This is not something i would usually post almost didnt but for some reason i had to

We rarely get a chance to see another country's editorial about
the USA .


Read
this true excerpt from a Romanian News paper. The article was
written by Mr. Cornel Nistorescu and published under the title
'C'ntarea Americii, meaning 'Ode To America ' in the Romanian
newspaper Evenimentulzilei 'The Daily Event' or 'News of the
Day'


~An
Ode to America ~



Why
are Americans so united? They would not resemble one another even
if you painted them all one color! They speak all the languages of
the world and form an astonishing mixture of civilizations and
religious beliefs.

Still,
the American tragedy in New York
turned three hundred million people into a hand put on the heart.
Nobody rushed to accuse the White House, the Army, or the Secret
Service that they are only a bunch of losers. Nobody rushed to
empty their bank accounts. Nobody rushed out onto the stree ts
nearby to gape about. Instead the Americans volunteered to donate
blood and to give a helping hand.


After
the first moments of panic, they raised their flag over the
smoking ruins, putting on T-shirts, caps and ties in the colors of
the national flag. They placed flags on buildings and cars as if
in every place and on every car a government official or the
president was passing. On every occasion, they started
singing:'God Bless America !'

I watched the live broadcast
and rerun after rerun for hours listening to the story of the guy
who went down one hundred floors with a woman in a wheelchair
without knowing who she was, or of the Californian hockey player,
who gave his life fighting with the terrorists and prevented the
plane from hitting a target that could have killed other hundreds
or thousands of people.


How
on earth were they able to respond united as one human being?
Imperceptibly, with every word and musical note, the memory of
some turned into a modern myth of tragic heroes. And with every
phone call, millions and millions of dollars were put into a
collection aimed at rewarding not a man or a family, but a spirit,
which no money can buy.


What
on earth can unite the Americans in such a way? Their land? Their
history? Their economic Power? Money? I tried for hours to find an
answer, humming songs and murmuring phrases with the risk of
sounding commonplace, I thought things over, I reached but only
one conclusion... Only freedom can work such
miracles.

Cornel
Nistorescu

(This
deserves to be passed around the Internet). It took a person on
the outside - looking in - to see what we take for granted! GOD
BLESS AMERICA !!